[it takes anna some time for her head to clear enough to respond to this, and she's not even sure it is clear by the time she starts typing.]
I'm done giving a shit about blowing it wide open. He already killed me once, and right now I have some bigger fucking problems than that. I'm telling you this because I THOUGHT you were actually interested in learning shit, not because I think it's gonna detonate John's whole fucking empire. I don't care about burning it down anymore, but I already know you don't want to know why, because it's all about my own pity party bullshit.
[she coughs on her end, and it feels like she won't stop for a while. a body that's still trying to reform isn't ready to get this heated yet. but here she is doing it anyway.]
I don't want to kill him. I don't want to kill any of you. It's not going to fucking solve anything. I'm sorry that I don't know how to fix this, Palamedes. I've never done anything this fucking stupid before.
no subject
I'm done giving a shit about blowing it wide open.
He already killed me once, and right now I have some bigger fucking problems than that.
I'm telling you this because I THOUGHT you were actually interested in learning shit, not because I think it's gonna detonate John's whole fucking empire.
I don't care about burning it down anymore, but I already know you don't want to know why, because it's all about my own pity party bullshit.
[she coughs on her end, and it feels like she won't stop for a while. a body that's still trying to reform isn't ready to get this heated yet. but here she is doing it anyway.]
I don't want to kill him. I don't want to kill any of you. It's not going to fucking solve anything.
I'm sorry that I don't know how to fix this, Palamedes. I've never done anything this fucking stupid before.