It's not a zero-sum game. What you 'deserve' isn't determined by the last big thing you happened to do— that's not how living in the world works.

[Bleak. He glances at the mochi and then pointedly does not, like maybe Kaworu will eat it if nobody is pointing it out to him.]

And, anyway, it's subjective. I don't think you're a lost cause, and here we are.