[She listens carefully and then smiles, pleased that he likes it.]
I can take it in here. [She considers just leaving it on him while she does, but she does her best work when she can sit and get closer to the fabric, so. She sits. Right on the floor, getting comfortable] Hand me them please.
[She's started carrying her little kit around with her just for such cases of emergency seamstress-ing! She waits expectantly.]
[He's extra careful in taking both the pieces off, because it really is the nicest outfit he's ever had access too, and he's worried that his clumsy basic boy hand (and tentacles) will immediately tear something. So: delicate.
He passes them over and then moves to perch on the arm of the couch, so neither of them know how to sit, really.]
You wanted to talk about grim things, if I recall. [Brightly, because hell yeah, lay it on him.]
[Well, she'll get to it when she gets to it; he watches her work in the meantime, waiting.
Aha.]
To die, in the precise moment? Nothing, really. All the feeling comes from whatever you were doing beforehand. Death just... isn't; it's like someone turns off the lights, but in you.
[A beat.]
But before the second before that, it was searing.
Oh—yes. Back home. They've put me back to rights here, obviously.
[Somehow, miraculously. He's assumed they must have nabbed a piece of his bones and then not thought about it too hard, lest he convince himself something more sinister is at work.]
So I'm trying to make the most of it here. You know, despite everything.
It's complicated to explain, but the short version is I exploded.
[Ahem. He could go on about thanergy reserves, but that wouldn't answer much without the accompanying academic lecture, so he won't.]
And if you mean like this, with a heartbeat and all... No, probably not. My cavalier was carrying my soul around, a task I will never be capable of fully repaying. I could interact with the world sometimes, but I was still dead.
[Well, she doesn't quite get what carrying around his soul is supposed to look like, she can't really wrap her head around that, but. Still.]
I apologize if I've brought up something painful. [A brief pause and then she adds:] But I'm glad all the same that you are here alive again.
[She falls quiet then for a good minute or two before she states:] I'm going to die. [A beat] I suppose all of us will, at one point or another. But back home the Stranger--Death--looms closer to us all. I suppose I'm thinking of it more right now.
[Don't worry about it, it's an undocumented field anyway-- He shakes his head, though.]
It's no problem; I haven't been advertising it, but I've told a few people. I'm glad to have people know.
[It's strange; he'd still spent more time as a disembodied soul than he's spent in this city, but it feels so much further away. So it's one less burden to carry around, when his friends here know about it—it feels less horrifying, somehow, to share it.]
[She nods, acknowledging that. Well, at least it's helping rather than hurting too much.]
I don't know the exact date and time. But I've seen it, in my dreams. Flying, falling. Into spikes. I don't look very much older. So I suspect it's sooner rather than later.
[He can only imagine, just to get people to believe it in the first place must be agonizing. After a moment he slides off the arm of the couch to join her on the floor.]
[It takes another minute as she slowly resumes her stitching]
My brother visited me in a dream not long ago. Before he arrived, I dreamed of my son's death. I was stitching his head back to his neck. [She has to pause then to wait for her hands to stop shaking.] Then I grabbed my daughter and was running. It reminded me that being here won't stop the future. My son will die. And I will throw myself from a tower in my grief, at some point.
[Helaena quiets and sets her things down on her lap again, shoulders straightening as she stares at a fixed point on the wall opposite her.] ...I want my time here to be peaceful and full of good memories. Perhaps it might grant an exception and I will live longer back home. Perhaps it won't. But at least when I die I can remember these times when my life flashes before my eyes as they say it does.
[she was whatting his what to his WHERE oh my god, he wasn't ready-]
I hope you have many peaceful years ahead of you, then, wherever they are. [Does it feel right to say "even if it's here"? Not really; he's dead, he perfectly understands how this place is the better option for many of them, despite the uncomfortable things that happen to the Augmented more often than not. So, no: just the hope for a peaceful life.] May we live in uninteresting times.
[A beat.]
I should ask, and feel free to tell me to stay on my side, but would you like a hug?
[It’s a nice sentiment. She knows better than to believe it will last forever, here or otherwise, but it’s nice to think of all the same. She appreciates it.
His offer makes her head snap up and face him, expression briefly baffled.] I… [At least she doesn’t seem offended or put off by the offer, just… realizing no one’s really asked before. Most just ignored her discomfort and no one knew what to do with grief. It’s touching, no pun intended.
She has to think about it though, before coming to the conclusion that she wouldn’t mind it at all. I think I’d like that very much, actually. [Helaena admits it into the air, unable to take it back and finding she doesn’t feel the desire to. A hug would be nice. A hug from Pal would be nicer; she likes him. He answers her questions and doesn’t call her bugs gross or creepy (to her face, at least) and hansn’t let Aemond scare him away. He can be polite enough that maybe even Alicent might like him in short bursts, but it doesn’t do to think of these things anyhow.
Helaena sets her sewing to the side so no one gets poked with a rouge needle and opens her arms willingly]
[It's disheartening to see her think about it like that, as if no one has asked her before - either for a hug or for her permission, he doesn't know, but both situations are pretty grim. Still, once she gives the okay, he scoots over to wrap her into a hug, human arm first, you know, just in case. He's inclined towards big hugs, but Helaena isn't the lift-off-the-ground hug type, he thinks, and they're on the floor anyway; he's good at hugging the normal way, at least.]
I'm good for this anytime, just so you know. You can ask me, too.
[Worth saying; anyway, this hug will go on until she wants it to end.]
[She's a bit stiff at first, like she's not entirely sure what to like...do? What does she do with her arms, or her head or what?? But after a moment she relaxes, gradually inching her head down until she can rest it against his shoulder.
Huh.]
It's warm.
[An observation mostly, but she sighs and closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of warmth and safety] Thank you, Palamedes. You... You're a good man. And a good friend. Your world has lost much.
[Ah—and that makes it worth it, doesn't it, to feel the way she relaxes against him. It's such a small thing, such an easy thing to provide, and it breaks his heart somewhat that she hasn't been able to have something so simple in her life.]
You're too kind. I like to think they'll be fine without me.
[His people back home, that is; he's already dead, after all, and before long... well, he doesn't want anyone to miss him too much.]
I'll just have to do what I can for you all while I'm here.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I can take it in here. [She considers just leaving it on him while she does, but she does her best work when she can sit and get closer to the fabric, so. She sits. Right on the floor, getting comfortable] Hand me them please.
[She's started carrying her little kit around with her just for such cases of emergency seamstress-ing! She waits expectantly.]
And maybe we can talk while I work.
no subject
[He's extra careful in taking both the pieces off, because it really is the nicest outfit he's ever had access too, and he's worried that his clumsy basic boy hand (and tentacles) will immediately tear something. So: delicate.
He passes them over and then moves to perch on the arm of the couch, so neither of them know how to sit, really.]
You wanted to talk about grim things, if I recall. [Brightly, because hell yeah, lay it on him.]
no subject
Yes.
[But she says nothing more for another long minute or two as she threads her needle and starts her work.]
What does it feel like to die?
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Aha.]
To die, in the precise moment? Nothing, really. All the feeling comes from whatever you were doing beforehand. Death just... isn't; it's like someone turns off the lights, but in you.
[A beat.]
But before the second before that, it was searing.
no subject
Have you died before?
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[Somehow, miraculously. He's assumed they must have nabbed a piece of his bones and then not thought about it too hard, lest he convince himself something more sinister is at work.]
So I'm trying to make the most of it here. You know, despite everything.
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[Was he going to just...stay dead back home? He'd told her about necromancy, so--] Would you have come back, back home?
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[Ahem. He could go on about thanergy reserves, but that wouldn't answer much without the accompanying academic lecture, so he won't.]
And if you mean like this, with a heartbeat and all... No, probably not. My cavalier was carrying my soul around, a task I will never be capable of fully repaying. I could interact with the world sometimes, but I was still dead.
no subject
[Well, she doesn't quite get what carrying around his soul is supposed to look like, she can't really wrap her head around that, but. Still.]
I apologize if I've brought up something painful. [A brief pause and then she adds:] But I'm glad all the same that you are here alive again.
[She falls quiet then for a good minute or two before she states:] I'm going to die. [A beat] I suppose all of us will, at one point or another. But back home the Stranger--Death--looms closer to us all. I suppose I'm thinking of it more right now.
no subject
It's no problem; I haven't been advertising it, but I've told a few people. I'm glad to have people know.
[It's strange; he'd still spent more time as a disembodied soul than he's spent in this city, but it feels so much further away. So it's one less burden to carry around, when his friends here know about it—it feels less horrifying, somehow, to share it.]
You know when you're going to die?
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I don't know the exact date and time. But I've seen it, in my dreams. Flying, falling. Into spikes. I don't look very much older. So I suspect it's sooner rather than later.
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[So, he has questions, let him mentally sort through them for a moment--]
Do your dreams always come true?
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...Yes. My dreams have never been wrong.
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[He can only imagine, just to get people to believe it in the first place must be agonizing. After a moment he slides off the arm of the couch to join her on the floor.]
Why are you thinking of it now?
cw: suicide mentions
My brother visited me in a dream not long ago. Before he arrived, I dreamed of my son's death. I was stitching his head back to his neck. [She has to pause then to wait for her hands to stop shaking.] Then I grabbed my daughter and was running. It reminded me that being here won't stop the future. My son will die. And I will throw myself from a tower in my grief, at some point.
[Helaena quiets and sets her things down on her lap again, shoulders straightening as she stares at a fixed point on the wall opposite her.] ...I want my time here to be peaceful and full of good memories. Perhaps it might grant an exception and I will live longer back home. Perhaps it won't. But at least when I die I can remember these times when my life flashes before my eyes as they say it does.
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I hope you have many peaceful years ahead of you, then, wherever they are. [Does it feel right to say "even if it's here"? Not really; he's dead, he perfectly understands how this place is the better option for many of them, despite the uncomfortable things that happen to the Augmented more often than not. So, no: just the hope for a peaceful life.] May we live in uninteresting times.
[A beat.]
I should ask, and feel free to tell me to stay on my side, but would you like a hug?
no subject
His offer makes her head snap up and face him, expression briefly baffled.] I… [At least she doesn’t seem offended or put off by the offer, just… realizing no one’s really asked before. Most just ignored her discomfort and no one knew what to do with grief. It’s touching, no pun intended.
She has to think about it though, before coming to the conclusion that she wouldn’t mind it at all. I think I’d like that very much, actually. [Helaena admits it into the air, unable to take it back and finding she doesn’t feel the desire to. A hug would be nice. A hug from Pal would be nicer; she likes him. He answers her questions and doesn’t call her bugs gross or creepy (to her face, at least) and hansn’t let Aemond scare him away. He can be polite enough that maybe even Alicent might like him in short bursts, but it doesn’t do to think of these things anyhow.
Helaena sets her sewing to the side so no one gets poked with a rouge needle and opens her arms willingly]
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I'm good for this anytime, just so you know. You can ask me, too.
[Worth saying; anyway, this hug will go on until she wants it to end.]
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Huh.]
It's warm.
[An observation mostly, but she sighs and closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of warmth and safety] Thank you, Palamedes. You... You're a good man. And a good friend. Your world has lost much.
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You're too kind. I like to think they'll be fine without me.
[His people back home, that is; he's already dead, after all, and before long... well, he doesn't want anyone to miss him too much.]
I'll just have to do what I can for you all while I'm here.